Sometimes I want her to stay forever and sometimes I just want her
to go
She comforts me when I'm down, comfort through distraction
through hunger pains, and cramps, cravings and body reactions.
She's always here with me, she tells me what to do
when to eat and sleep and exercise and what size should be my goal.
She is there when I hurt and when I feel the pain
When I lose some inches or shed a few pounds,
I can feel her approval, like she's smiling down.
But when I gain some weight or cave in to a craving
The wrath of ana befalls upon me with a whirlwind of guilt and self-
hating.
I'm tired of hiding her from the world, I"m tired of the secrets,
lies, and deceiving.
Is it wrong to want people to accept who I am, my ana is part of me.
Obesity is a disease, but no one is shocked to see
an overweight person eating three deserts or a dinner with high
calories.
A smoker has chosen his lifestyle and no one puts up a fuss
even though he's hurting himself, friends, and strangers through the
smoke he's puffing out.
So why do they say I'm sick?
Why do they frown and shake a fist?
There's nothing wrong with me! It's a lifestyle, can't you see?
I want to see my beautiful bones and feel as light as rain.
I want to be thin more than anything, afterall, beauty takes pain!
- Alec
